The 22re engine is notorious for grenading its timing chain guides, so the plastic remnants didn't surprise me too much. What did surprise me, was that there were still the two timing chain guides in perfect condition under the timing cover. This meant that the guides in the oil pan (and the large chunk of metal missing from the cover itself) had been floating around in there for God knows how long, since the previous owner replaced the timing chain last. That brings me to the second flaw of the 22re Toyota Pickup: It was, in fact, the slowest moving vehicle on the planet. Literally the average Mustang can outrun these trucks, even accounting for breaking down once and having to fix it mid-race. I had the inside line and a perfect launch against a Hyundai Accent getting on the highway once, but the 90 year old woman driving it gave me a stare-down as she passed me like I was standing still. That brings us to the not-so-simple fix to a slow moving vehicle: a Chevy V8.
When I heard about this V8 powered Land Cruiser, I was thinking it was a nice little stock 350, maybe 200-300 horsepower. When I actually arrived to check this thing out, something told me I might be in for a little more than anticipated. Getting this FJ40 started was a bit of a process. And by "a bit of a process" I mean "You can leave the keys in it, alongside a startup procedure, because if someone wants to steal it then they won't figure it out without your help anyways." From memory the process went something like this:
1: Under the canvas flap flip the switch to connect the battery.
2: Crawl under the truck (avoiding the oil leak, obviously) and search for the kill switch.
3: Find the kill switch in literally the most stupid location, in the wheel well where a kicked up rock will certainly cause the truck to shut off leaving you to maneuver your way out of the road in a vehicle without brakes, power steering, or power whatsoever.
4: There are 3 switches behind the drivers seat. One of them controls the electric fans. These are important. The next switch controls a high pitched whine which is most likely a fuel pump or an electric water pump. Also important. The final switch controls something else. Don't know what it did, but it seemed important.
5: Turn the key. Normally this wouldn't seem difficult, but in this case they ignition switch is located behind the driver's seat. Its recommended that you start the vehicle before actually sitting down, in order to avoid dislocating your shoulder. That brings us to the next problem; the Muncie 4 speed has the precision of a nuclear warhead, and there isn't a clutch safety switch. You might be in neutral. You might also be in either 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th, or reverse as they all look and feel the same. Also, its not recommended that you attempt to start the vehicle on a hill, as it lacks a parking brake (or brakes at all for that matter) so you'll end up using your right foot as a wheel chock for some 33 inch MT tires.
Once you finally do get this thing started, you are in for a treat. This thing is MEAN. Much meaner than my iPhone can record.
DO NOT START THIS VEHICLE unless you are prepared to set off car alarms. Now its time to get going. Well actually its time to spend about 4 minutes getting the harnesses on until your passenger gives up and decides that getting flung from the vehicle is less annoying than figuring out how to wear them, but that isn't important.
We've already determined that the transmission is pretty much a game of poke and hope, but if you're like me and have lived a life of T56's, TR6060's, and various other 5 and 6 speed transmissions where reverse isn't up and to the left, you WILL put this thing into reverse on your first (several) take off. Don't be alarmed, you probably didn't hit that guy walking behind you, and if you did you definitely didn't hear his screams over the sound of your exhaust. There isn't actually a lockout to keep you out of reverse (there might have been one there in the past, but it certainly wasn't working on that day.)
Now lets get to how this thing drives. The first time I put it to the floor my heart literally stopped beating for a second. By far the scariest acceleration of my entire life. Was it the fastest acceleration of my life? Well I don't know, there isn't actually a speedometer, but that's irrelevant. No doubt in my mind that this thing could pull the tires off the ground with a hard launch. A hard launch was not something I was going to be partaking in, mostly due to the fact that a couple miles up the road it cut off on me as I was approaching a very busy intersection. Now you might remember me telling you that this thing had 5 point harnesses and a key located behind the drivers seat. This is NOT a good combination. I can't for the life of me figure out how Toyota, a company known for making simple, good, user friendly vehicles could have made an oversight like this. In the midst of attempting to bend my arm in 19 different ways to get the car back started I discovered that I had bumped some of the many magical switches that cut power to multiple things I needed powered. Luckily on a hope, prayer, and dream I got everything set right without looking and got the truck back started up.
I made it into a parking lot the as it was cutting off again, but by then I had permanently broken my wrist in a manner that allowed for easy reach of the key. 100 people's jaws dropped as I idled through the parking lot, including the owner of a cammed LS3 Camaro. I can't even lie, this thing got 5 times the attention of my Z06. We made it 95 percent of the way back before it cut out again, but this time there was no starting it back. We coasted the last 1/8th of a mile, with any luck there wouldn't be any traffic stopping us from getting back into the lot. Unfortunately our luck had run out, and we ended up stopped just a half block away. A few quick pushes had us back in safely, but that was the last of the starts from the old 350.
To wrap it up, Toyota trucks are slow for a reason. That much power in an FJ40 is a literal death wish. You WILL crash it into a wall, and it will go up in flames. Sadly, though, you won't be able to get your harness unhooked fast enough to get to the fire extinguisher mounted just out of reach before its too late to save the truck. This was nearly the worst vehicle I had ever been in, but more than anything, I wanted it to be mine.
