Everyone loves a good Mini, its impossible not to. Let me repeat that, with a bit more emphasis: Everyone loves a good Mini. The John Cooper Works edition is not only a good Mini, but a GREAT Mini.
On the outside this special edition looks very familiar, with a few key changes that let you know that this thing means business. Anyone who witnesses the quirky aesthetics of this car and doesn't smile is evil. Seriously, the Mini Cooper is like an adorable little puppy, you just have to love it even if it has an accident on the floor. The interior is much the same, about as opposite of Volvo as one can be. I highly recommend sitting in this car for at least 10 minutes learning where everything is before you set off.
It was about time for me to start the test drive, so I grabbed the keys and hopped into the drivers seat. Right off I noticed how different the controls were; a quick look at the dash reminded me that I wasn't authorized to fly a jet fighter. The toggle switch style controls are unconventional at best, but really very neat. Cruising around the parking lot was as easy as any small hatch, plenty of visibility, compact size, and nice light clutch. It was a nice day outside, so I decided to roll down the window. At least I thought I wanted to roll down the window. The series of events that took place next went as follows: Unlock the doors, lock the doors, turn on some lights, turn them back off, open the sunroof (close, but still not the windows), and then finally I found the toggle switch that did what I wanted it to. Now if I had just taken the time to look at the dash closely I would have been fine, so its not like this weird setup is impossible to figure out, but its not as "user friendly" as some competitors.
Once I had gotten the controls figured out it was time to actually put this car to the test. My parents were riding with me, so I didn't get to give this car a 100% test, but based on my fathers grin the entire time, this car is an absolute joy to drive. The one thing that really surprised me was how little drama there was from the torquey little front wheel drive system. Under hard acceleration there wasn't even a hint of torque steer. Most people seem to hate torque steer, but I think it gives a car character, and its why the Ford Focus ST has been my favorite modern hatchback.
Anyways, back to the drive: Though this car is much bigger than the original Mini Cooper, it still feels as nimble as can be. The only area I had any issues with were hard acceleration around a turn. Lay into it too hard in first or second with the wheel cut, and you're left with a weird, uncertain, floaty sensation. There was some definite wheelspin, but I had very little idea what was actually happening under the front wheels. In this area Ford, Volkswagen, and Mazda are all superior. The John Cooper Works edition comes with a brilliant differential that offers infinitely variable lockup from 0%-50%. This differential works really well in gears 2 and up compared to the standard cars fixed 30% lockup diff, however I get the feeling its also the reason for the floating sensation when you get too heavy with your right foot around a corner.
Even though I truly believe either of Fords turbo hatchbacks are superior in every measurable way, I still have a love for the Mini. Its a car that unlike its BMW cousins, doesn't take itself too seriously, and always wants to play. The Mini Cooper presents a solution to all the fighting and hostility in the world, as even the most ruthless dictator couldn't resist giggling as he got behind the wheel of this quirky hot hatch. To prove my point I challenge you next time you're really annoyed, angry, furious, hostile, anything: go test drive a Mini Cooper, you'll feel the hatred melting away.
